By definition, the nightlife of every city is a "scene." From New York to Miami to Tokyo, you'll find the after-dark landscape littered with cool kids wearing clubby fashions, carousing to pulsing tunes, and snapping photos of their velvet rope victories to share on Facebook. Los Angeles, on the other hand, ups all of this to outsized proportions: the cool kids are the latest crop of Hollywood royalty, the band who made the pulsing tunes is right there at the party, and photos of the night come courtesy of TMZ's bevy of paparazzi. LA may be the only city on earth where merely embedding yourself in the nightlife circuit can make you famous. (More power to you, Paris and Nicky.)

Chalk it up to The Industry. LA is a company town, and the triumvirate of the film, television, and music businesses reigns over of-the-moment hotspots (which admittedly change faster than Heidi Montag's bra size) like Area, Les Deux, and My House. Getting in, getting a table, and getting treated halfway decently are all dependent upon who you know and how you look. It can be maddening to try to insert yourself into the eye of this nightlife cyclone. But if you do your homework (translation: hit up friends, friends of friends, and even your hotel concierge to figure out who they know and what strings they can pull) and hit it right, it can be quite the thrill.

For one-stop-shop nightlife, set your sights on the storied Sunset Strip, where legendary temples of rock like the Viper Room, The Roxy, and the House of Blues still head bang at high decibels. You can also rise above the racket at newer spots where views of the city are as glittering as the celeb-peppered crowd, like Skybar with its sexy open air pavilion or Tower Bar with its retro-glamorous vibes (and cherry-picked clientele–party girl riffraff like Britney have been turned away). And we couldn’t visit the Strip without a quick stop at the Standard Hollywood’s trendy yet relaxed Purple Lounge, where we get our royal-color-recharge under the sultry purple lamps and purple beaded curtains.

If hitting the Strip only feels like a warm-up, there are plenty of options for catching up with the nonstop, bound-for-rehab set. (Oh, Lindsey, will you ever graduate from this class?) At the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel, you can enter the all-day-all-night bacchanal either poolside at Tropicana Bar or behind the heavy bronze doors at Teddy’s Lounge. Slip into something even slinkier at Bardot, where Old Hollywood glamour meets Young Hollywood antics (Ryan Gosling on the turntables, anyone?).

Personally, though, we’re partial to more laidback yet still super chic spots where celeb spotting is possible but the night isn’t bound to end in a paparazzi dust-up or trip to the emergency room. (Yes, we’re looking at you Mischa Barton.) Chill things out a bit by the water at Malibu’s Moonshadows, where you couldn’t get more relaxed than sipping cocktails on giant bed-like lounges on the deck overlooking the surf. Equally cool and sophisticated are the coveted poolside cabana seats at Cameo Bar at Viceroy Santa Monica, which brings the inside out with ultra-comfy 60s-inspired oversized armchairs and sofas. For the ultimate in laidback elegance, settle into a deep booth or spot on the trellised patio at The Beverly Hills Hotel’s Polo Lounge, where the crowd is so refined you’d be perfectly safe to bring an important client, or even Mom, for a classic cocktail.

And though we may not count ourselves among the sorority of Hollywood’s most outrageous party girls, we’re not averse to some honest-to-goodness fun. We’re known to shake our tails at Crown Bar, where the crowd-pleasing DJ spins dance-friendly old (and new) school tunes in a bar-like atmosphere. We're not above glimpsing the stars get up to no good while dining on delicious gastropub fare in the quirky French chateau surrounds of Bar Marmont. And finally, we love the south-of-the-border festivity at El Carmen. You'd think having the best margaritas in town would corral a herd of industry insiders, but the giant bull heads staring down from their mounts on the wall seem to scare away all that Hollywood bull.

Photo of Skybar courtesy of olliethebastard on Flickr Creative Commons